


you deserve the world

by lostmemoria



Series: tumblr fics [22]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Allison/Aiden/Jackson, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4796861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostmemoria/pseuds/lostmemoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I can’t take it anymore,” Lydia says in between sobs, her entire body trembling as her fingers shake around the grip she has on his gun, which is pointed at her head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you deserve the world

**Author's Note:**

> [**hellhoundbanshee**](http://hellhoundbanshee.tumblr.com) asked: marrish + "Please, put it DOWN."

“I can’t take it anymore,” Lydia says in between sobs, her entire body trembling as he fingers shake around the grip she has on his gun, which is pointed at her head.

“Please, put it down. Lyds, _please_ ,” Jordan begs, the few feet of space in between them feeling like a mile long. And all he wants to do is rush over to her and grab the gun from her and throw it away, but he knows better than to act so hastily. He needs to think straight, to think like a _cop_ , but it’s so hard to do so when the love of his life is standing right in front of him, finger on the trigger and ready to take her life.

She shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks and the wild inferno of her hair spilling down her shoulders, covering her face like a curtain. “Y-You don’t get it, Jordan. I just…I just can’t take it anymore,” she repeats, meeting his gaze and he sees how her eyes are red and swollen, like she’s been crying for hours, and he curses to himself, wishing he had left the station just a little bit early, wishing he had followed that gut feeling he had a few hours ago where he felt like something bad was going to happen. If he had left his shift a little early, if he had locked his gun up properly in the safe,  _if he had taken better care of her_ , then maybe, maybe this wouldn’t be happening right now.

“The voices in my head…They’re just too much.  _Too much._ I thought I could handle it…I thought I could handle it just like I handled Jackson leaving me…Just like I handled Aiden dying. Just like I h-handled my best friend  _leaving me._ But, oh god—” Her voice starts to break, the lump in her throat getting too much as she tries to swallow it down roughly, tries to swallow down all the pain that she’s just endured for far too long. “Everything hurts too much.”

“Baby, please.”He steps a little bit forward to her and she immediately steps back, almost falling and stumbling over her own feet.

“D-Don’t come closer! Don’t make this harder than it already is,” she warns, looking away from him. “Just leave. _Just let me die._ ” Her last words come out in a broken whisper, but he hears it and it makes his heart break.

He can feel the tears burning his own eyes as he struggles to find the right words to say. Struggles to find the right words to say so he can save her. “I-I love you so much,” he says, blinking away tears and trying to keep himself steady. He can’t let himself break down, he has to stay strong just for her. “ _I love you so much_ ,” he repeats, as if it’s the only thing he can muster at the moment because no matter how much sensitivity training he’s gone through, no matter how much he’s suppose to be prepared for these kinds of situations, nothing can compare to this. “And I’ll always love you. And I know everything hurts right now, and I know that the pain is unbearable, and I know that I might never be able to make it go away no matter how much I want to, but you don’t have to do this alone, Lyds. You don’t have to go through this alone.” He steps closer to her, and this time she doesn’t step away. “I’m here for you and I’ll always be here for you, and we’ll get through this  _together._ ”

He finds himself close enough to her to touch her, and he does, gently wrapping his fingers around her wrist. “Please, put it down,” he whispers and then adds a beat later, “Allison wouldn’t want to see you like this. She wants to see you happy, baby.”

And as soon as the words leave his lips, she breaks completely. The gun drops from her fingertips as she lets out another loud, broken sob before sinking to her knees. Jordan catches her before she hits the ground, strong arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her to him as he crouches on the ground next to her, letting her bury her face into his deputy jacket as she cries, as she falls apart, as she finally lets it all out.

He holds her, soothing fingers stroking through her hair and rubbing her back warmly as he whispers to her over and over again,  _You’re amazing. You’re brilliant. You’re gorgeous, and I love you. Don’t ever forget that._

“But I’m a  _monster_ ,” she whispers, voice muffled by his jacket as she clings to him.

Jordan shakes his head, because she’s his sun, his stars, his everything. The last thing she can be is a monster. “No, you’re not. You’re Lydia Martin. You’re human. And you, god,  _you deserve the world_ ,” he tells her as he presses a soft kiss against her hair.

His arms wrap tighter around her then and he holds her, holds her until the demons in her mind have been drowned out by his soothing words and the sound of his voice.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://lydiasdeputy.tumblr.com)


End file.
